Day 26: Laugh
One little tournament this afternoon, during the course of which I think I actually dragged a grand total of three pots before I was eliminated ~ all-in with great odds to double up and be back in the game, but nuh-unh. Denied. What else is new?
The rest of the day and evening was a vast improvement, featuring good food, good company, and a lot of laughs. I am reminded that it is possible to get to be a geezer and still be silly and funky and have a great time acting out and being irreverent.
I am a much goofier individual than my poker persona (or indeed my former professional life) generally reveals. I am a grown-up (yeah, really I am), but I'm also not a grown-up. There's plenty of kid in me: and the kid likes to dance, and laugh hysterically at dumb jokes, and climb over fences, and ask "why?" a lot, and make up secret languages, and exchange blood oaths with friends, and stay up past my bedtime and then sleep in, and have dessert before dinner sometimes. The kid in me is wildly enthusiastic about some things, some activities, and some people, and will walk through fire to get to them. Most of all, the kid isn't the slightest bit worried about looking stupid or undignified, because a) the kid knows she's not stupid, no matter what anyone else thinks and 2) dignity is for grown-ups and statues.
And besides, silliness has a dignity all its own, if you look at it the right way. Silliness is a big fat 'f*-you' in the face of death and oppression and bureaucracy and stifling convention. If you can't be silly, you aren't free.
There's a possibility that my poker persona may be too restrictive, even at the table. Maybe I could bring the silly a bit more. It might confuse other people, and it might make poker even more fun for me. (Hard to imagine, but still.) Laughter is disarming and a great stress reliever.
I'm going to think about that a bit.
Labels: balance
posted by Cardgrrl @ 11:59 PM
1 Comments:
You and me both. I have a firm grip on my inner child and allow him to come out at home with Steph and with very close family... Dancing around like a loon and singing silly songs (sometimes from Veggietales, sometimes off the top of my head) out of the blue. Using goofy words that have no meaning but, in context, everyone knows what I am saying.
It's great fun and a good thing to allow my personality to regress once in awhile, but I'm very guarded where, when, and around whom I allow it to show. Some judgemental pedants, some of which have a measure of influence over me, would not understand.
As for my poker game, I generally keep the two FAR apart. Once I've allowed the little boy out, he develops a mind of his own. I've not yet learned how to let loose but stay disciplined... Isn't that what letting loose is??? So he only comes out during poker games with the right people and for the right stakes (either none or VERY little)... He usually donks off chips, but occassionally has a good run and establishes a crazy table image that is very hard to play against.
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